I had a re-realization this morning. What's a "re-realization"? That's when you have the experience of realizing something that you already knew. It is an encounter that feels like an epiphany, but its content is not entirely new.
This morning I re-realized that whenever you learn something about God, HE is speaking to you. Listen, I knew that God speaks, but I guess I somehow didn't make the connection between all my times of learning and his actual voice. It is a subtle point so let me clarify. I sometimes get down feeling like God has been silent. I heap the blame on myself for my lack of discipline, lack of passion or whatever excuse I can find. I haven't felt inspired, so God must not be speaking to me. I begin to whisper things to myself like, "I can't remember the last time I felt like God was speaking to me," or "Why won't God give me some direction by speaking to me?"
I've learned to go on in these dark seasons of the soul, remembering that like all seasons this too shall pass. But today some new light was shed on this subject. Every time I learn something about God, He is speaking to me. I guess learning about God has become so commonplace, that I didn't see it as special or as part of our relationship. I am constantly learning about God, his people, his ways, his history (that's our history), his creation. How could I ever say He isn't speaking to me?! He is speaking more than ever. The more I've learned the more I am able to learn. The more I think about Him the deeper my thoughts can go.
How foolish I have been! What joy it is to look back and see where I thought had been silence, a steady stream of correspondence between my Maker and me! What relief I feel knowing that I am equipped to hear from Him and it doesn't require burning bushes, bright lights, or even emotional highs. I've been set in God's crockpot all the while unaware I was cooking! Knowing this I am free to cook and look forward to times of burning bushes, bright lights and grilling on God's BBQ. Those times of emotional highs will come too, but in the mean time, as Francis Schaeffer would say, "God exists! and He is not silent."